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Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts: Workbook for Women, by Les Parrott, Leslie Parrott
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This workbook is designed to help you -- the woman -- explore the issues and practice the skills presented in the book Saving Your Marriage Before it Starts. It is full of lively exercises and enlightening self-tests that will help you and your partner apply what you are learning directly to your relationship. - This version of the workbook approaches the issues from a woman's perspective, taking into account your unique psychology, needs, and approach to life. - Each exercise includes an estimate of how long it will take, so you can easily fit the program into a busy schedule. - Call-outs in the book let you know the best times to do the exercises as you read. - Activities to practice throughout your married life are included to help you keep your love alive. These exercises are designed to help you uncover potential problems and deal with them before they emerge. They will help you and your partner communicate better. They will help you see your differences and practice positive methods for resolving conflict. Best of all, they are designed to help you cultivate intimacy and help you on your way to a rich, lifelong love.
- Sales Rank: #1226713 in Books
- Published on: 1995-05-02
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.21" h x .8" w x 6.10" l,
- Binding: Paperback
- 48 pages
From the Back Cover
This workbook is designed to help you -- the woman -- explore the issues and practice the skills presented in the book Saving Your Marriage Before it Starts. It is full of lively exercises and enlightening self-tests that will help you and your partner apply what you are learning directly to your relationship. - This version of the workbook approaches the issues from a woman's perspective, taking into account your unique psychology, needs, and approach to life. - Each exercise includes an estimate of how long it will take, so you can easily fit the program into a busy schedule. - Call-outs in the book let you know the best times to do the exercises as you read. - Activities to practice throughout your married life are included to help you keep your love alive. These exercises are designed to help you uncover potential problems and deal with them before they emerge. They will help you and your partner communicate better. They will help you see your differences and practice positive methods for resolving conflict. Best of all, they are designed to help you cultivate intimacy and help you on your way to a rich, lifelong love.
About the Author
Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott are founders of RealRelationships.com and the Center for Relationship Development at Seattle Pacific University. Their bestselling books include Love Talk, Your Time Starved Marriage, and the award-winning Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts. Their work has been featured in the New York Times and USA Today, and they have appeared on CNN, Good Morning America, and Oprah. Les y Leslie forman un equipo como marido y mujer, y son expertos avanzados en los asuntos concernientes a las relaciones personales. Muestran sus experiencias como padres con el objetivo de ayudarte a cumplir la vocacion mas grande de u vida.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Exercise One: Your Personal Ten Commandments This exercise is designed to help you uncover some of your unspoken rules. It will take about fifteen to twenty minutes. Try to articulate some of the unspoken rules you grew up with. Take your time to think it over. These unspoken rules are generally so ingrained that we are rarely aware of them. Once both of you have articulated your "personal ten commandments," share them with each other. Are there rules you would like to change? Take a moment to discuss how unspoken rules might affect your marriage. 1. _____________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ 2. _____________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ 3. _____________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ 4. _____________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ 5. _____________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ 6. _____________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ 7. _____________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ 8. _____________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ 9. _____________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ 10. ____________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ Anytime you have a fight or disagreement, ask yourself: "Is this fight a result of one of us breaking an unspoken rule?" If so, add that rule to your list, and discuss with your wife how you will handle that situation in the future. EXERCISE TWO: Making Your Roles Conscious Listed below are a number of chores or life tasks that will need to be handled by you or your wife. To make your unconscious understanding of roles conscious, first indicate how your parents handled these tasks. Then write down how you would like to divide up the tasks, according to your understanding of your own and your wife’s interests, time, and abilities. Finally, compare your list with your wife’s list and discuss the results. Put your final decision of who will do what in the last column, and be prepared to renegotiate when your circumstances change. This exercise will take about thirty minutes.
Most helpful customer reviews
12 of 13 people found the following review helpful.
Easy read w/ valid points//Excerts are from Workbook
By A Customer
First off, the excerpts (table of contents, page and backcover) above are from the workbook, not the book.
The book was a very easy and quick read. I have suggested it to a number of friends as I feel it brings up some valid points and can be used as a spring board to further discussion. Too many people marry without talking about what they are getting into and expecting. The book talks about the myths of marriage, the ebb and flow of relationships, expectations, and ends with a discussion on faith and religion in marriage. That is in the last chapter and can be skipped if you are not religeous and/or shy away from "Christian" stuff. The rest of the book only touches on faith as it relates to the authors description of an event.
The book was written in '95 and mentions much of the relationship self help stuff from that era. The authors are married, and they give examples from thier own marriage, as well as from other couples they have counseled. There are out-quotes, places to pause for discussion, and a few diagrams.
As someone else mentioned, the book does make you feel as if you have to get the workbooks to get a complete picture. You don't. I thought they were overpriced for what they are, although they too can help in discussion, especially if you aren't doing any other than what color flowers to get and what kind of limo you want. The excercises range from really simple ratings (on a scale of 1 to 5, how improtant is the following to you, do alone and compare and discuss) to more time consuming stuff (what unwritten rules do you have?). I found out in one excercie that my honey expects me to do 80% of the childrearing, while I expected we'd be closer to 60/40.
Part of it is intuitive stuff, part of it is stuff that you might think, "I hadn't thought of it that way". If you're reading about this book, congrats and Good luck!
16 of 18 people found the following review helpful.
Not worthless, but don't bother buying the workbooks.
By A Customer
This book was recommended to us by several friends and my mother, so we bought and read it. I would have been happier had I borrowed it from the library and not spent the money. It has some good common-sense suggestions to keep a relationship working, but nothing earth-shattering. The only things I found really helpful were the triangular model of relationships and the chapter on ebb and flow. Other than that, if you've taken Psychology 101 this book has nothing new for you. Also, I was very disappointed in the workbooks. The book makes you feel like you are missing out if you don't stop every few paragraphs to do an exercise in the workbook, but the workbook is exceptionally lame and consists mostly of empty lines and questions that are obvious to the reader anyway-- definitely not worth $14 extra. If you want a really fantastic marriage book, try "I Pledge You My Troth" by James Olthuis, if you can find it.
10 of 10 people found the following review helpful.
An excellent counseling tool for dating or engaged couples!
By A Customer
This workbook, along with the main book, are excellent counseling tools for couples engaged or considering marriage. It is also excellent for couples that are already married. It is professionally done, and includes many exercises that help couples communicate their expectations about marriage and eliminate some problems before they begin. It is well worth the money.
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