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Unmasking Narcissism: A Guide to Understanding the Narcissist in Your Life, by Mark Ettensohn PsyD
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Whether the narcissist in your life is a boss, coworker, relative, or romantic partner, the exercises and advice in Unmasking Narcissism will help you set healthy boundaries and make sense of this complex and often painful issue.
In this groundbreaking guide from clinical psychologist Mark Ettensohn, PsyD., you will gain insight into narcissistic behaviors, symptoms, and relationship dynamics. Dr. Ettensohn provides exercises designed to help you clarify your own values and goals for the relationship, whether that means immediate separation or long-term relationship management. Anyone whose life has been touched by narcissism will find this book helpful - whether you are coming to terms with a loved one's diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality disorder (NPD), or working to move forward after leaving a narcissistic relationship.
Unmasking Narcissism provides strategies and coping styles that will guide you toward a deeper understanding of both the narcissist and yourself, with:
- Easy-to-read sections aligned with the DSM-5 criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
- Explanations of both grandiose (overt) and vulnerable (covert) narcissism.
- Healing tools and techniques, including how to defuse arguments instead of fuel them, mindfulness meditation, and exploring vulnerability.
- Real-world stories of people coping with narcissists.
Throughout, Unmasking Narcissism offers a fully realized, yet compassionate portrait of narcissism that will help you on your path to healing without compromising your own mental health and wellness.
- Sales Rank: #343391 in Books
- Published on: 2016-02-09
- Released on: 2016-02-09
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.20" h x .60" w x 5.50" l, .0 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 186 pages
Review
Dr. Ettensohn unmasks narcissism, not by villainizing, but by removing the barrier to understanding. He masterfully and compassionately fosters the reader's appreciation of factors contributing to the development and maintenance of narcissism, which then allows the development of empathy for the narcissist's experience. Such a shift in perspective helps the reader to find more flexible and workable ways to relate to a narcissist, whether that relationship be romantic, platonic or personal. This book is a valuable addition to any library.
―Robin Kirk, LMFT, Owner and Director, Sage Anxiety Treatment ProgramThis book helps the reader to see that through compassion, understanding, empathy, and limit setting, we can take steps to attain the lives and relationships that we deserve.
In working with clients on any topic its important to navigate between educating about the issue, teaching new skills to help resolve the discomfort of the situation, and reinforcing the clients ability to act and make successful change. In Unmasking Narcissism, Dr. Ettensohn has combined all three with a style, grace, and beauty that reflects his immense talent. Not only is his description of narcissism spot on, but he is able to provide analogies that represent and enhance understanding of the diagnosis that are often difficult to put into words. His compassion toward all parties involved in navigating the ups and downs of narcissism is a main step in helping each individual understand and cope with such a difficult situation.
Dr. Ettensohn combines aspects or interventions from multiple theoretical backgrounds including ACT, CBT, Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction, Psychodynamic, and Humanistic. This book is a wealth of information and should be read by everyone who has an interest in or who has a lived experience with a narcissistic individual. Dr. Ettensohn reminds us that at our core we are all human and react to fears of rejection and needs for intimacy in different ways.―Chelsea Bagias, Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Thought Disorder Specialist
Unlike most academic texts and self-help literature, this book does not label narcissistic individuals as evil, broken, or bad, and does not recommend triumphantly exposing them or diligently providing constant soothing and reassurance to protect their frailty. Also, Dr. Ettensohn does not depict individuals in relationships with narcissists as powerless victims or as needy collaborators. Rather, demonstrating the mindful, non-judgmental acceptance that he continually advocates, he describes narcissism as a developmental behavioral pattern, detailing its etiology, its trajectory, and its prognosis.
Using a clear yet vivid narrative, Dr. Ettensohn seamlessly introduces, explains, and interweaves core concepts in psychological wellness and effectiveness: attachment, assertiveness, emotional regulation, and boundaries. Of particular note, he discusses the under-looked aspect of vulnerable narcissism, which is common in psychiatric settings but difficult to recognize and treat. And most importantly, he firmly acknowledges the lack of control that we have over other people's behaviors, and emphasizes the importance of clearly communicating, setting and maintaining our own boundaries, and making conscious and responsive decisions that reflect our own values.―Kilianne Kimball, Ph.D., Licensed Clinical Psychologist
I love this book. Dr. Ettensohn has masterfully translated his extensive knowledge and expertise into a compelling, easy-to-read guidebook for non-professionals. He exposes the often-misconceived underbelly of the narcissist, promoting a deeper understanding of both the person and the relationship at hand. He provides illuminating scenarios and helpful tips, allowing for more constructive possibility both within the relationship and within the reader’s self. Unmasking Narcissism is a must read for anyone struggling to navigate this provocative and daunting relational experience.―Nancy Kernick, Psy.D., Licensed Clinical Psychologist
About the Author
Mark Ettensohn is a clinical psychologist in Sacramento, California. He specializes in treating narcissism and providing psychotherapy for chronic emotional, psychological, and relational distress. He has authored and contributed to several articles on narcissism for both the non-professional and medical communities. Learn more by visiting www.DrEttensohn.com.
Manhattan-based psychiatrist Jane Simon, M.D. is a graduate of Barnard College and Temple Medical School. The Huffington Post has syndicated her biweekly blog, www.drsimonsays.blogspot.com.
Most helpful customer reviews
52 of 57 people found the following review helpful.
I'm not her favorite person and she really chaps my behind when she ...
By alwaysblabbing
My mother in law and I don't exactly see eye to eye. I'm not her favorite person and she really chaps my behind when she says thing like she should get a metal for raising my husband. Hello, you had a problem child you didn't fight a war! And she constantly says ridiculous things that really make me mad. We have gotten into more than one argument because I don't have a poker face. Well I mentioned her behavior to a friend of mine and he said she is a Narcissist.
So I jumped at the chance to review this book. I found myself completely engrossed in the book. It's very interesting and describes my mother in law like the writer knows her personally. There are explanations for the person's actions along with tips and recommendations on how to handle the infuriating situations that I find myself in every week. Once I started reading I couldn't stop. I was very fascinated by the disease itself and I was very interested to see if there was anything helpful that may resolve the relationship that my mother in law have now.
The book is broken down in sections of how to deal with the "symptoms' of Narcissism and not dealing with it as an entirety. Which is really great because I'm going to take a stab that not every person acts the same way even if they are a Narcissist. This also gave me some understanding on why she is the way she is and says the things she does. I don't know if any of the suggestions will help but I do know that I really enjoyed this book. I would highly recommend reading it if anybody in your life suffers from Narcissism. If for no other reason, than to understand that the hurtful things they say and do have nothing to do with YOU.
I received this product complimentary in exchange for my honest opinion but the opinion expressed is all my own.
91 of 107 people found the following review helpful.
We all know at least one.
By Kat
This book is a guide to 'sensitively' dealing with a narcissist. Really? I agree that we are all human beings and should be treated with dignity and respect, but if you have ever dealt with a narcissist, then you know they try to degrade, belittle, and destroy every ounce of dignity you have all while making themselves look good. Narcissism is an illness. This is a guide to tip toeing around their behavior, understanding it, and empathizing with them. It should have including a list of resources of where to get help, etc. Not worth a flip through!
**I received this product for free in exchange for my honest and unbiased review.**
38 of 43 people found the following review helpful.
WILL DO MORE HARM THAN GOOD! FULL OF ERRONEOUS, INCOMPLETE, OUTDATED, AND INVALID INFORMATION!
By Sula
As a decades long researcher of pathological narcissism, a thriving narcissistic abuse survivor, a narcissistic abuse recovery expert, author of the Amazon Top 100 best seller, Take Your Power Back: Healing Lessons, Tips and Tools for Abuse Survivors, and founder of Yourlifelifter, a narcissistic abuse information center on Facebook and website that reaches almost a million people around the world, I was frankly appalled at the lack of research and inaccuracy of the information provided in this book, shocked actually. The references, definitions, and information are dated and in fact are about 30 years behind the times. This book will do more harm than good. The best way to express this is by listing what this book professes to achieve but DOES NOT discuss or reflect accurately that are critical to narcissistic abuse survivors and narcissists alike seeking accurate, timely information validated by the top experts in the world:
1. There is no cure for pathological narcissism.
2. Does not discuss toxic relationship of empaths and narcissists.
3. Does not discuss betrayal bonding and findings of Dr. Patrick Carnes
4. Does not discuss relationship of abuse survivors, empaths, and perpetuation of abuse.
5. Does not address trauma and types of trauma resulting from narcissistic abuse and traditional and nontraditional therapies and self help resources available to heal effectively from them. Does not discuss specifically Dr. Bessel van der Kolk's findings.
6. Does not discuss narcissistic abuse syndrome and the millions of people currently suffering from it who were also survivors of childhood abuse
7. Does not discuss the thousands of narcissistic abuse victims who are suffering from C-PTSD who have been misdiagnosed with mental disorders and are being incorrectly prescribed medications.
8. Does not discuss abuse recovery programs
9. Does not discuss findings of Dr. Jane and Tim McGregor related to psychopaths and narcs targeting empaths
10. Does not discuss that narcissism is no longer listed on the DSM and why.
11. Does not discuss brain and DNA and behavioral studies of narcissists and psychopaths by preeminent neuroscientist and diagnosed functional psychopath, Dr. James Fallon
12. Does not discuss predatory nature of narcissists and covert aggressive manipulative techniques identified by world expert and best selling author, Dr. George K. Simon.
13. Does not reference anything current by the many narcissism experts who have treated victims.
14. Does not reference the dozens of narcissistic abuse recovery self-help Facebook pages followed by millions of survivors who are suffering from narcissistic abuse and are seeking help to heal. Yourlifelifter alone has 11,000 followers and monthly reach on its posts is currently over 850,000 people from 45 countries, who collectively speak 21 languages.
15. Does not discuss worldwide pandemic of narcissism and its relationship to terrorism.
16. Does not mention that the success rate of treating narcissists in very very low and few if any seek therapy and they manipulate the therapists and in fact bank on manipulating them.
17. Does not discuss that narcissists have a conscience and know exactly the harm they do to their victims and they do not care. They want all the benefits others can provide them without working for it.
18. Does not discuss that the relationship with one is a predatory, parasitic one and that narcissists bank on and prey on the vulnerabilities of those they target and prey on including therapists.
19. Does not discuss that the Bible and other religions in their discussions of evil were describing narcissists.
20. Does not discuss that most therapists are not equipped, trained in or competent to identify narcissism, treat narcissists, or identify and treat narcissistic abuse victims.
etc. etc. etc.
Here is a link to a great article from legitimate narcissistic abuse recovery expert Kim Saeed warning unsuspecting readers of the damage done by PhD's authoring "ilk that will perpetuate the Narcissism epidemic by suggesting there are ways to communicate with these disordered individuals and further, that one can 'reap the rewards' by behaving in certain ways." [...]
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